fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize