Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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