she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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