Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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