we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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