Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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