all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
