erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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