You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
