As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
