Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
