I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
