I must be too annoying 4 u.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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