I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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