when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
