That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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