can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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