Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize