Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
