i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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