I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
