Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
