And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
