I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I want her autograph on my taint
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
