You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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