Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have fence marks all over my body
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
