just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You pole danced in your parka.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
