At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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