It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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