walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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