He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
