I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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