I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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