the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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