They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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