Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
