He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
