Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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