I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
