I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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