I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I did not marry a roomba.
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