well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
