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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
