just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
