I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
