How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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