At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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