I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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