so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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