She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this will be a night to untag.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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