we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
where are my eyebrows?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
