he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
