Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
