I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I did not marry a roomba.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
