I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
