There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
