Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
