I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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