D3 body, D1 cock
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
