So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
